She so vain, she probably thinks that ad is about her

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From Reuters (embolded bits are me):

Lohan alleged that online brokerage’s use in the ad the girl, also named Lindsay, improperly invoked her “likeness, name, characterization, and personality” without permission, violating her right of privacy.

(Privacy is for people who chose to get wasted at home, just an FYI -)

In her lawsuit filed Monday in a Nassau County, New York state court, the 23-year-old actress sought $50 million of compensatory damages and $50 million of exemplary damages. She also demanded that E*Trade stop running the ad and turn over all copies to her.

(Even the YouTube ones does she not understand the scope … nevermind)

Lohan’s lawyer Stephanie Ovadia did not return requests for a comment. An E*Trade spokeswoman declined to comment, saying the New York-based company had not reviewed the complaint. A copy of the complaint is available at www.tmz.com .

(Which is E*Trade’s way of saying, “we don’t comment on crazy sh*t”)

The New York Post reported the lawsuit earlier Tuesday. It said Ovadia maintained that Lohan has the same “single-name” recognition as celebrities like Oprah Winfrey and Madonna.

Except usually it’s preceded by ‘That skank …” or “That druggie…” or followed by,  “she’s still alive?”, however let’s quickly recap why this commercial couldn’t possibly be referencing her (setting aside common sense reasons):

A – Lindsay claims (-ed, I dunno) to be gay, so why would she be macking on the E*Trade dude. I don’t track the experimental trysts of has-been celebrities, so someone will have to verify is she still is or ever really was the kind of lesbian real lesbians can spot before Anne Heche has a chance to change her mind again.

B – Lindsay totally digs older, strung-out women who beat her. E*Trade baby (his name is Nigel, by the way) is way below her dateable threshold, doesn’t have the necessary punching power to do much more than puff up a lip, and can’t handle solid foods yet – so… yeah, you can insert your own  joke here.

C – Lindsay would never be caught drinking anything as hardcore as COW’S milk (Everyone loves rats, but they don’t want to drink the rats’ milk*).  It violates her probation to her dealer or something, and would likely send her system, honed to a finely tuned running machine with smack, crack, and booze into shock.

When she sobers up, she is going to feel sooooo silly.

Makes you feel just a little sorry for the lawyer that had to actually draft a statement for that, doesn’t it?

*Fat Tony, The Simpsons,  Mayored to the Mob, Season 10 Episode 212

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Just this fox. I'm a writer of horror and dark fantasy. I totally don't brag about it. The latter statement is an utter lie.
  • Ashley
    March 9, 2010 - 5:54 pm

    Seriously…? I have never made the connection and I never will. Plus, milk-a-holic would be a compliment to her nasty existence.

  • Michael
    March 9, 2010 - 9:49 pm

    When she sobers up? I suspect the only thing that will wash the booze and narcotics out of her system is the formaldehyde they pump into when they finally find her corpse.

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