How To Spot An Insecure Writer/Editor

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I think there’s something new and fledgling writers should know:

There are people out there who will publish you who aren’t terribly interested in you as a writer or even care if you’re any good. They exist solely to prop up a deflated ego, or soothe a wounded sense of self, or simply act like a  bully. They like being called “Editors” because it makes them feel important.

When we all start out, we desperately want to be published and we’ll do it for credit because that’s how it’s played. I’ve done it and I am proud of every one of those magazines and digests on my shelf.  There are some very good credit/copy only publications out there with well formatted with beautiful layouts and a top-notch staff.

Kids, Twisted Dreams is not one of those publications and its editor Andrea Dean Van Scoyoc deserves neither your words nor your effort. Nevermind the utter lack of standards in its guidelines, because obviously when you’re a “self-publishing legend”, standards are for people who want to be read.

  • “Submissions with name, address, phone number, word count or any other identifying info in either corner. Just type your name and the story name on the submission, nothing more.
  • Submissions with words underlined when they are supposed to be italicized.
  • Double-spaced submissions

Yeah, good manuscript habits are baloney. I know I *LOVE* it when I have to reformat my mss every time I want to submit because some editor is trying to be a rebel. It’s so freeing.

Oh, and because you might be an idiot (something I know I looked for when I was editor of Ghostlight):

WHY did I write basically the same thing, twice? Because if you had to read some of the submissions I get, you’d understand that apparently people either don’t read these guidelines or think they don’t apply to them, as I receive far too many submissions where it’s WOEFULLY apparent that one of the two scenarios above, applies.

By the way, break the convoluted rules and you’ll be BLACKLISTED.

From a “4 the Luv” magazine. O noes *weeps*

Click to embiggen because you simply must get the full feel of this individual’s compassion. (this was removed shortly after the Internet got wind of it).

How to become famous on the Internet in the completely wrong way  Photo Credit © Brennon ThompSon
How to become famous on the Internet in the completely wrong way
Photo Credit © Brennon ThompSon

Well done. this must be your “moderately severe vertigo” talking, right Andrea?

So, what makes her such an authority that she can talk to people like that?

Well, she’s a Hereditary Witch [cite] (snort), a “self-publishing legend” [cite], teaches Shaanthi Yoga [cite], and is  “a force of nature” [cite]. She’s on Goodreads, but she’s  not interested in you, only in book signings.


Classy. There a delusional ego on this one and maybe the yoga is supposed to help with that inner peace, but if her response to my friend Andrew‘s open comment is any indication, she might want to cast her Real Witch™ Circle Of Influence® a little wider.

So listen, Kids: this isn’t a magazine or author/editor you want to be associated with. You do not deserve to be talked to like an idiot or treated like she’s doing you a favor. Your words will put her magazine on the map, not the other way around. If she was such a popular underground editor, she’d be paying *something* more than a .pdf download. Hell, every one of my “4 the Luv” credits came with a print contributor’s copy – because the editor thought that much about me to see me in  print. It speaks volumes. Much like this:

“Want me to pay you for submissions? Spread the word about my advertising rates, demand your local bookstores, trendy shops, whatever, carry Twisted Dreams to boost our sales, or spread the word to make us the most talked about magazine on the market today and that MIGHT happen. Until I start seeing money…you won’t. Sorry, that’s just the reality of owning a small, Indie magazine.

No it’s not.

Please note, if you have a DIAL UP CONNECTION, due to the size of each issue, you may not be able to download your free copy, so be mindful of that BEFORE you submit. I can not and WILL NOT be held responsible for your Internet connection or lack thereof.

Unreal. Yeah, put this on your Do Not Send list and spread the word.

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Just this fox. I'm a writer of horror and dark fantasy. I totally don't brag about it. The latter statement is an utter lie.
  • PJ
    February 1, 2013 - 8:32 am

    >>>Well, she’s a Hered­i­tary Witch [cite] (snort), a “self-publishing leg­end” [cite]<<<

    The 2 links are 404s and the redirect URL shows as a googleplus one.

    • little black duck
      February 1, 2013 - 8:49 am

      *sigh* I swear this new WP upgrade has caused me more formatting issues.

      They should be fixed now.

  • PJ
    February 1, 2013 - 9:35 am

    Wow. I’m a bit sorry I asked you to fix the links. *shudder*

    • little black duck
      February 1, 2013 - 2:01 pm

      Why you should never write your own profiles for professional sites. What’s supposed to be found bits of trivia and collected anecotes turns into an embarassing display of very special self-aggrandizing pity party.

      Because she’s *that* complicated.

  • Molly
    February 1, 2013 - 3:17 pm


  • Molly
    February 1, 2013 - 3:21 pm

    I want an IMDB profile. I am in High School Soccer game video footage..that count right?


    • little black duck
      February 1, 2013 - 3:39 pm

      I have an uncredited blink and you’ll miss it cameo as “Child Leaving School Fast” in the 1984 movie “Tiger Town” – where’s my IMDB line?

  • CR135
    February 1, 2013 - 7:47 pm

    If you had posted she calls herself a “hereditary witch” first, I would have stopped reading. There is simply no such thing and people that call themselves that are silly and make actual witches look bad.

  • PJ
    February 1, 2013 - 8:34 pm

    *I* want a web site where I am the bestest of everything and the most awesomest witch evar. Oh wait, in another life I was and I was killed for it. *big sigh and falls back on fainting couch* <—– photo op for my website!

  • little black duck
    February 1, 2013 - 8:38 pm

    That’s some kind of lousy witch who can’t see an assassination coming.

  • PJ
    February 1, 2013 - 8:42 pm

    Pffffsssshhhh. I saw it. No reason to stop it. That life that was point. This life, web recognition. Bahahaha

  • little black duck
    February 1, 2013 - 8:58 pm

    Yes, we never get what we really want.

    Real estate.

  • PJ
    February 1, 2013 - 10:08 pm

    *stomps feet* I guess I need to self-pub a crappy e-zine then.

  • little black duck
    February 1, 2013 - 10:13 pm

    Be sure to pattern it after every pagan website designed by a 16-year old with lots of purple, black, and gray so it looks like you’re serious about publishing.

  • PJ
    February 1, 2013 - 10:30 pm

    What is wrong with those colors????? I used white text! And spooky music.

  • christopher nadeau
    February 2, 2013 - 2:39 pm

    Holy skunk shit, this woman never wants to encounter me! WTF???

But how do you really feel?

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