For People Who Get Their Romance from Billboard Ads of Hennessy

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I don’t understand the mystique around strawberries and cream. It’s something I have often, since strawberries are inexpensive, and Cool Whip is cheap and practically non-perishable.  Doug and I even have it for breakfast watching the Wimbledon Ladies Final. *shrug*

I made it as an after work snack so I wouldn’t eat my way through the kitchen between now and when I decide what to have for dinner. The Neighbor knocked and noticed what was in the bowl I was holding and true to the level of maturity I’d expect from someone who tried to kill us yesterday with a mix of ammonia and bleach, started cooing and getting all weird.

With a disturbing waggle of her shoulders and what I can only surmise was her “come hither” look if she were having a stroke, she asked if she was interrupting “sexy time”.

“No,” I said with a shake of my head, “this is just an after work snack”. Nope, Ghetto Fabulous isn’t having any of it. Despite the back that I’m fully dressed, and Brian Williams is on NBC she continues with the awkward shimmy and I can feel the light snack threatening to pack its bags and leave town.

I leave the door open and walk away. I defer to Doug who can handle that level of stupidity with a smile like no one else.

She kept it up and he deftly ignored the flapping of her lips.

So, what I missing, other than the ready dumpsite and 10 pounds of QuikLyme?  What makes berries and imitation milkfat so seductive to some?

The berries are $2.89 and the Cool Whip was $1.79 a tub – seriously, it wasn’t Beluga Caviar on toast points. What’s the allure?

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Just this fox. I'm a writer of horror and dark fantasy. I totally don't brag about it. The latter statement is an utter lie.
  • Trace
    August 25, 2012 - 5:00 pm

    I don’t know what the allure is either, but I’m cracking up at the interruption of “sexy time” and weirdo neighbors.

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