Errat-er – I barely knew ‘er!

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By now, you know I’m an avid knitter, and by avid, I mean I knit or crochet when I should be writing, or sleeping, or working.  Sometimes I can go for days without picking up a pair of needles because I just get so sick of myself sloughing off my regular duties to my husband, my job, my friends, etc…  Then I toe my way into it again by searching for patterns to ease me back into the swing – and by ease I mean something that will easily consume several months of my life and require intense physical therapy to reshape my fingers.

Back when I was still temping (back, like in July of ’08, because *gawd*, who remembers that far back) one of my co-workers asked me to knit her a heart, something small that she could put on her desk.

I, being the literal creature that I am, found her a heart pattern that I could quickly knit up AND she could put the finished product on her pen or pencil while she worked.

I chose this because it fit the criteria – small, knits up fast, and only I would knit something like it with intense joy.  Except…

Except …

As a preliminary disclaimer, I love ¡The AntiCraft! because it has all the neat stuff I want to make.  The famous armwarmers featured in BoobieThon 2006 were the Snowballs Chance In Hell, I made Comfort Food about a month ago and it fed co-workers, the husband, and myself for about a week, Bad Juju has been made for friends and family alike (Samhain ’05 was a rockin issue), as well as a lot of other fantastic crafted items.  I have their book, which you should have too, because it’s as close to being like me as you could possibly get.  So it made perfect sense that Stabbity Stab Stab would also be quick and simple.


Like carving your first cadaver, not everything comes out as perfect as you would originally plan.  No one is pointing fingers, but I had a devil of a time making that pattern work and I did something I practically never do –

I wrote a letter begging for help before I took my pent up frustration on the thigh of an innocent passerby. I probably would have taken out my frustration on a thigh anyway, but as it was my first real knitting problem, I took the rational route.  I don’t need an excuse to stab anyone, but I’d like to keep a free assault in my pocket for when I really need it.

I didn’t hear back right away  – I mean, *gawd*, they’re way cooler than me and I’ll sure some assistant’s assistant had my e-mail read to her by a eunuch and then the eunuch was destroyed and then the assistant had her tongue cut out as to not contaminate the rest of the pool with my lameness – so I hacked together a fix and presented the heart to my co-worker.  It wasn’t what she had in mind, but you know what – I don’t care.

However that’s not the cool part.

This is:

Stabbity Stab Stab
7/23/08 (thanks, MontiLee!)
The pattern was so very wrong that we won’t bother to list the corrections here. Just go get yourself a new copy.
¡The AntiCraft!.

See that up there – they got my name right.

I just  noticed it today, while I was squeeing over Stuffed Pasta Skulls, and even though I’ve had a pretty rockin’ night, this made it even better. I like it when they get the name right.  That sort of thing makes me happy.

Everything is coming up Milhouse!

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Just this fox. I'm a writer of horror and dark fantasy. I totally don't brag about it. The latter statement is an utter lie.
  • pj
    January 8, 2009 - 3:42 pm

    I knew before I clicked – I just KNEW what that heart was gonna look like! Bwahaahahaha Partypooper co-worker – why didn’t she say she wanted a Valentine? 😉

But how do you really feel?

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