OUTSIDE INTERESTS

When I find this person…

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… I will take extreme pleasure in removing their eyelids in 2mm slices. So this just arrived at my house.

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What the effing eff...

I’ll probably donate it to a women’s shelter since my sister’s kid is already two months old, but I am less than amused.

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Just this fox. I'm a writer of horror and dark fantasy. I totally don't brag about it. The latter statement is an utter lie.
  • Amy
    January 5, 2013 - 7:46 pm

    If you bought your sister anything with a credit card for her baby, that’s where it came from. Formula companies are notorious for farming people’s information.

    • little black duck
      January 5, 2013 - 7:53 pm

      Except I haven’t. This is her third boy and she didn’t need anything. Plus I’m cheap. A few months back I was receiving a subscription to American Parent. Someone has their lines crossed.

  • Laurie Slade
    January 5, 2013 - 8:02 pm

    You would be the second “definitely not pregnant” friend of mine to get a baby formula kit in the past two months!

  • PJ
    January 5, 2013 - 9:22 pm

    Somebody is fucking with you maybe. Or breast feeding has become too popular and they’re hoping the kit will reach a potential consumer or relative or friend. Or they have overstock and have to get them out before they expire.

    All I can say is the line about removing eyelids was scrumptious.

  • veach
    January 8, 2013 - 3:09 am

    It’s a free sample. A pregnant friend received the same thing a while back.

    PS – Paranoia is unflattering on you.

    • little black duck
      January 10, 2013 - 5:14 pm

      Paranoia is indeed unflattering however when I receive lots of baby items to my email and home address, when it’s a known fact I don’t like children and have zero intentions of bearng any (especially at my age), I prefer to err on the side of stabby.

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