Today is Lisa’s birthday.
Going through the family archives, there are photos marking year after year, where it appears she cannot believe she is not dead (and in photos with Santa, the standing tears reflect the growing certainty that she will be eaten).
Of course she was not eaten, because I am her big sister, and I wouldn’t let that happen if I could help it. I have done my duty for 36 24 years, and though we are separated by distance and Ohio, I promise to remain vigilant against Santa and other assorted deadly assassins.
Please wish my little sister a Happy Birthday, with wishes for many more. She deserves them for every year she has not been eaten.