The Further Adventures of (ex) King Kwame

It isn’t as if I haven’t been keeping up on the Kilpatrick fiasco, it’s just that there’s been so much in the last few months it’s hard to keep up.

To recap: Former Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick was corrupt, and his corruption killed a stripper, got some cops fired, brought down a city, disgraced a woman he claimed to love (or at least love enough to sleep with a lot), and made his family the epitome of bourgie deadbeats we see on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Ghetto Bourgie is the new Black, doncha know.

I'm da Mayor, ho' photo © The Detroit News

Because the sky in his world is some shade of Kwame, he lied about his corruption, the murder, and the woman he claimed to love to the Feds and was caught out. He was found guilty, sentenced to prison, and given a fairly hefty restitution fine – $1,000,000 over five years.

We all had a pretty good laugh about it.

When he got out, one of his buddies gave him a pretty good job in Texas making about $120,000/year . Keep in mind the median income in Detroit is about a quarter of that, and most of the citizens of the City aren’t felons.

Kwame (sans the fancy shirts with “Mayor” embroidered on the cuff) packed up the family and moved to Texas with his fancy job, fancy cars and the “comfort money” totally about $240,000 given by Friends Of Kwame. Yep – thanks to these FOKers, the Clan Kilpatrick was living rather high on the hog. Limos, tuitions for schools, an expensive home in a gated community – oh, if every felon had it so good! He was bent on leaving the horrible saga behind him and start fresh. He’d set himself in that mind frame so well, he decided to skip restitution all together. He wrote a tear-stained letter to the court claiming that after all his expenses (limos, car washes, maid service, Victoria’s Secret, Smoothie King), he only has about $6.00 to his name.

I know, right.

The court said, “Fool, please,” and ordered him to pay $79,000 by Friday (2/19/09) with another $240,000 due by April 22, 2010. His Mamma and donors who wished to remain anonymous (speaks volumes about his friends, doesn’t it?) , tried to raise the money needed, but as it was a Kilpatrick fundraiser, I’d imagine lots of people arrived with their palms out waiting to be greased.

So now he’s due back in court on Friday because the court has Had Enough. The hearing will be to determine if Kwame willfully intended to not make payments by hiding money in his wife’s and children’s names.  He may go back to jail. I will do a little dance.

Not helping matters, his lawyer said this today:

Kwame Kilpatrick is living large because he has to.

“The clientele he must establish a rapport with are likely to be the privileged and the affluent,” Hajji said in the motion. “Burgers and beer at the local bar is not going to be sufficient.”
Source

So, they won’t talk to the big scary Black felon unless he rolls up in a limo?  Won’t they mistake him for their valet? Doesn’t explain why he has to live where he does or drive what he does or drop $440 at Victoria’s Secret (unless he really trying too hard to close a sale).

“The trial court appears to infer that it wants Mr. Kilpatrick to live a middle-class existence, when such an existence is inconsistent with earning a sufficient amount to fulfill his restitution obligation. “Mr. Kilpatrick is going to have to function in the upper echelons of society.”
Source

 Remember, kids: Middle-class is not good enough, even for an ex-felon salesman working for a software company pushing products to the auto industry. I’m not sure what he claims to be selling or if he’s actually making sales calls, but anyone who’s lead a relatively clean life, free from felony convictions and still struggling to make ends meet due to layoffs and plant closings may have a few choice words for the ex-mayor.

 I think what really struck me was this:

“What this appeal is primarily about, the rights and dignity of his wife and children. What must he do to protect them? Must he go to extremes of separation or even divorce?”
Source

Carlita Kilpatrick has shown that she has about as much dignity as a $5.00 crack whore – though in the whore’s defense, the whore actually works for a living. She has chosen to stand by her lying, cheating, philandering, no account husband who hasn’t done anything but find new and exciting ways to get in dutch. She is complicit in his dealings and any sympathy I had for her vanished when she packed up with him to lead the Good Life in Texas. Or maybe I mean shacked.

She hasn’t learned, nor have the other anonymous FOKers, that when you lie down with dogs – especially really big ones that run the street at night – you wake up with fleas. The City of Detroit could use a tent about now.

It’ll probably be embroidered.