Pits and the Pendulum

I’ve been facing a something rather irritating.

Armpits. Everyone has them, and if pits are left to their own devices they will leak, breed bacteria, and make people not want to sit close to you.  I’ve always been a wee self-conscious about it. I began puberty with Tussy, then graduated to Secret. When I was slinging burgers it was Degree, when I worked in a fruit market it was Dove, then I bounced around to whatever was on sale. Anti-perspirant and I got along fine until maybe my early 30’s when the hormones switched out of the  baby-making mode. From then on, deodorants would fail mid-day, on hot days I mentally apologized to just about everyone, and wearing dark shirts was out of the question.

I knew I probably had an allergy – itchy, swollen , and when pits are itchy and swollen you can’t wear anything so you spend a lot of time by yourself.

Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely, I have nobody for my own.

Yes, I could have seen a doc about it, but at the time, it just didn’t cross my mind. Instead, I tried all of the hippie formulas like Tom’s of Maine and that crystal rock that feels likes dragging your already sore armpits across broken cement. Tom’s reacted badly with my personal chemistry so I always smelled like a dump truck right before it completely quick working. I tried switching back and forth with regular stuff and different hippie forumulas but nothing worked. I didn’t know what I was reacting to, I just knew that anything over the counter wasn’t going to work. Also, I wasn’t paying crazy-man hippie prices for deodorant from the health-food store.

Plus my pits hurt.

What they feel like.© Tom Pfeiffer

So after my last bad reaction, where I was absolutely miserable and uncomfortable I decided to do something about it (that didn’t involve seeing the doctor). I looked online for homegrown homeopaths who made their own deodorant. They do it for different reasons, mostly to avoid the the aluminum and other lofty health reasons. I wasn’t going to become a vegan or grow olive trees or wear hemp. I just want to not smell or be itchy.

I looked at a few pages and they all seemed to direct me to the same website. The other sites  all wanted me to add essential oils and anti-microbial qualities, but I was trying to keep this simple, and essential oils are stupid expensive. Off to The Sensible Mom for a dirt simple recipe with three ingredients. I went a little crazy and made 2 – one is plain and one is Sanguis flavored.

Plain and scented homemade deodorant and one is completely unusable

Teaching moment #1 – Coconut has a melting point of 76 degrees, and it’s easy to forget how warm it is until you see a puddle forming under your newly birthed deodorant.
Teaching Moment #2 – As darling as  Dove makes it’s containers (left), it’s got an inexpensive flywheel base for raising the product and it tends to fail completely when it’s clogged with baking soda and coconut oil. I’ll either have to buy a deodorant at the dollar store to dump and refill with this, or wait for the blue to get used up.
Teaching Moment #3 –  Let it warm to room temperature before using for a less bracing wake me up

I’ve been using it about a week and oh goodness what a difference. Even on the warm days I don’t feel like I’ve got sweat pooling in my bra and I am definitely more confident in darker shirts. The coconut oil has also been a great skin softener.

However (you saw this coming)  it’s a little drying so I saw somewhere to ratchet back on the baking soda.

So there – a recommendation that’s not food or a movie or a book.

More movie news later in the week.

Just this fox. I'm a writer of horror and dark fantasy. I totally don't brag about it. The latter statement is an utter lie.


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