Kwame Says To Media, Public: Can’t Touch Me In Here, Bitches

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Tonight Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick will hide behind the rostrum of a church and pretend to apologize, look repentant, maybe give the camera sad doggy eyes. There will be no congregation, no media, no questions. He will look into a camera and lie to the people that tune in tonight at 7:30 p.m.

This is easier than looking an actual congregation or the taxpayers in the eyes and telling the truth. If a person can’t make your eyes, he’s lying. I can’t make this anymore clear.

His office swears to God he’s not announcing that his doing the honorable thing by stepping down.

I’m not a church goer, but I gotta tell how how offended I am that this is happening in a church instead of in front of citizens. He screamed for sanctuary and got it at Greater Emmanuel Institutional Church of God in Christ. I’ve seen this church let out on Sunday and Matthew 6:5-6 in all of it’s gaudy, eye-bleeding colors not found in nature parade, and all I can do is roll my eyes. It doesn’t surprise me that this is his church and his defenders are here. Here’s the link to it but their flash-enabled webpage is b0rked. It has what’s supposed to be smiling parishioners, except only the tops of their heads are seen and it’s simply black webness beneath. It’s as if they’re ashamed to be seen, what with Kwame holed up in their church. Worse, you can’t see their eyes, which I guess is kinda how they want it.
Again, you can lie to someone as long as you don’t have to look him in the eye.

I’ll bet lying in church gets you a ticket to hell. Express. Additional charge for Asbestos jammies.
The new Chief of Staff is Kandia Milton, a slumlord who only a few days ago paid back taxes to the City, I’m guessing in anticipation of looking clean for his debut. It only proves one thing: the mayor isn’t stepping down, and nothing will change. His buddies get to be in charge and the people of the City of Detroit – those that voted him in AGAIN – don’t have the balls to recall him.

It would prove that they were wrong. The argument I heard during his re-election bid was simple – we can give him a second chance. Yeah, I let dogs bite me twice too.

There. You gave him another chance and he proved that he doesn’t have to change as long as he doesn’t get caught. Getting caught the first time didn’t make him smarter, just sneakier, and my dad taught us that being sneaky only makes the punishement worse.

Salvation is admitting mistakes and fessing up as well as moving forward to make sure the same mistakes don’t happen again. Only Detroit can save herself, and she can only do that by making sure Kwame is ushered out of office as soon as possible, prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Maybe Detroit will learn the lesson that Beatty, Carlita, and Sharon McPhail are learning the hard way – you don’t need a man like Kwame in your life to make you happy. Curling up with a dead cat is more comforting that lying down with a dishonorable man. Smells better, too.

Liars make Baby Jesus Cry, and when you do it in His Church, you can expect some serious wailing. To be safe folks, maybe we ought to avoid standing outside of GEICOGIC. The ancillary lightening strikes could blind us and prove fatal when they’re meant solely for the man cowering inside.