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Author at The Diner [at] Penda’s Realm - Cookies - the coin of Penda’s Realm.
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Test for Leslie

My name is Penda, also known as MontiLee to my dad, Monti to my mother, and “that psycho” to the chick I made eat paste in the 2nd grade.

I came into this life pretty much like everyone else: wet, screaming and naked. I haven’t had a better birthday since.

I’m the oldest of four, and while I may seem abrasive to some, I really strive to to be honest and forthright. If the truth hurts, I can dig you a nice hole to stick your head in. Hey, why stop at the head.

When not antagonizing thin-skinned crybabies, I write horror and the occasional essay. I love writing vignettes about people dying and I figure a few hours at the keyboard are a lot cheaper than therapy. Not only that, but unless I threaten someone directly, I don’t go to jail. Everyone wins.

Previously, this section was full of useless information about who I am and why I thought you should care. It was long, wordy, and quite frankly, about as egotistic as you could get. People don’t care, and that’s fine. When I become Ultimate Dictator, however, it will be in the test that decides whether or not I’ll let you to breed.

I’m feeling generous - have a little more:

I would like to state for the record that I am not a HPS or initiated in any way into anything. I am a Witch studying the dicipline of Rootwork and live my religion the way I live my life - Honestly. I don’t need the approval or acceptance of others to feel “witchy”.

I make no bones about who I am or what I believe. You will find no testimonials on my site, nor reasons to convert, because I could really care less about including you in anything I do. I could really care less. This blog and the main site is for the little tidbits, bytes of information I’ve come across. They are informational in nature. If you adapt a ritual and cause a rain of locusts, that’s on you.

I don’t have a BoS so you can quit looking for it. The things that I choose to place here or on my main site are things I refer to a lot when I’m on-line. It’s much easier to grab a link than to e-mail an attachment. Please don’t e-mail me for spells. If you saw “The Craft” and want to change your eye color or believe the ancient gods really think you belong on the Cheerleading squad, see your optomitrist and drag you lazy butt to tryouts. If your mom sayed no, or the cheerleaders reject you - get over it.

High School is four short years compared to the rest of your life. If you’re over 18 and these are still problems, I can refer you to a decent therapist. It’s a rare instance that I intervene on anyone’s behalf. Chances are extremely likely that when I do, it won’t be for you.

The Wiccan movement began in the 1950’s by Gerald Gardener after the repeal of the ban on Witchcraft England. He took old beliefs and re-energized them for a new age. There are many offshoots of Wicca, and they all follow the Rede and the Three-fold Law. They will not be printed here because I am not Wiccan and it is not what I believe. If you don’t like it, tough beans.

I don’t have an alter and I keep my things, i.e. chalice/cauldron, candle, grimoire and almanac, in a shoebox under the bed. I have a spice rack for my herbs and try not to confuse them with with my cooking herbs (that’s not cinnamon, that’s Mandrake!).

I believe that there are forces at my disposal, and if I feel the need to utilize those forces, I will. Simple as that. The Creator doesn’t make excuses, and s/he/it certainly won’t accept mine.

People may call me mean and bitter and angry, but that’s not the case. I don’t embrace this White-Light-Fluffy-Bunny-Crap. If you’re going to be hung up on “The White Light/Right Hand Path” — I’ve got news for you: there are two sides to the road, and eventually you’ll have to walk both of them. There are plenty of Fluffies out there that go on forever about love and light and spend just as much time thinking about how to get back at “those hypocritical Christians”. Do yourself a favor and keep your drama to yourself.

I don’t need to be PC for anyone, much less some “Wiccan” who seems to have a problem with the label “Witch”. If you f*ck with me or my loved ones, I will personally bury you.

As for the standard stuff, I’m married with two cats, living happily in Metro Detroit.

Update January 14, 2006


Insanity in a nutshell

If you are offended by jokes made about stupid people who end up dead, count to 30 and move on. You being offended is the last thing I care about. Really.
MontiLee Stormer

My name is MontiLee (aka Penda), I am a 35 year-old Writer from Royal Oak, MI.
E-Mail Me!

I are a writer

Novels in Progress:
Isle of Shadows, in collaboration with Rob Callahan
The Cat Dragged Inn
The Caretaker
Never

Now available:


Black Petals #36

Featuring "The Serpent Bearer"

And while you're at it, buy


Sinister Bedfellows

Featuring "So Much For Love Potion #8"


Bound #1

Featuring, "I Do This Because I Love You"
(Sorry - sold out)

And let's not forget:
damaged Goods Cover
Damaged Goods

16 short stories from critically-
acclaimed author Rob Callahan,
(with a short forward by your faithful servant)

Print, Amazon, and eBook versions available.