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The Twilight Zone - no - the Days F*cking Inn at The Diner [at] Penda’s Realm - Cookies - the coin of Penda’s Realm.
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The Twilight Zone - no - the Days F*cking Inn

I need to relay this while it’s still fresh in my head.

We’ve just arrived here at the Days Inn where we’ll be overnighting before heading into Nashville in the morning. It’s pretty late by the time stamp, so I’ll be brief and probably completely incoherent - yet not so much as my host downstairs.

I walk into the lobby and look around - the TV is on, the lights are on, it’s a nice place. The night attendent is snoring - and not softly - in a chair while Sydney attempts escape from the killer in the Scream mask. Either because I’m overtired or I’ve had entirely too much Monster energy drink and I’m suffering from taurine poisoning, I find this extremely amusing. I look for a bell to ring - nothing. I clear my throat - nothing. I begin to shake my change purse and finally he rouses from a rather deep sleep.

“You should watch a movie that’s more rousing to keep you up,” I say, “like House of Wax or maybe Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No one can sleep through Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” which is a damn lie because the second bored me into a coma. He mumbles something I don’t catch, and I let it go because I figure it was something related to the movie, and therefore inconsequential. “I need a room,” I say cheerfully. Wanting to make it clear that his sleeping would not in anyway interfere with a good night’s sleep.

He takes my coupon - see, this is a departure for us because we usually stay at Red Roof Inns because every tenth stay gets us a free room and we practically live there, but since were getting in so late, paying full price for someplace you’re going to sleep seemed pointless. Using one of those green Traveler discount books, we chose this Days Inn - it advertised a nice delux breakfast, free wireless Internet, and clean rooms. Totally sold. Anyway…

He takes my coupon, glances at it - barely - and mumbles something else. “Excuse me?” I ask, but he mumbled something again, swayed a little and stapled my coupon to the back of a registration card.

A registration card filled out by someone else.

“Third floor,” he says, sort of asking, but nodding as if I’m to just go ahead and say ‘yes’, and he takes two cards and swipes them and hands them to me. I didn’t catch the room number so I repeat - “132?” He nods - and shakes his head, “232.” “You don’t need anything from me,” I ask - like, I dunno, name, credit card, etc… He says I’m all set so I thank him and direct my husband and all of our luggage to the second I don’t see an elevator so we lug everything up two flights of stairs which echo like I’m throwing a body and maybe a set of cookware down the stairs.

I slip my key into 232. Nothing. I try again - nothing. I turn to Doug and offer that perhaps I misheard him and I run up to the third floor but 332 has the TV on, so that can’t be right. I run back downstairs to the second floor and Doug stage-whispers me to the corner and sends me back downstairs. I tell the guy that the keys are wrong and that 232 doesn’t want me sleeping with them. He sways some more and I swear he’s drunk. No really - bleary eyes that can’t focus, unsteadiness. I glance around looking for gin or tequila or Boone’s but nothing. He takes my keys and runs them through the card reader - which tells him that the room is 320, which he tells me.

He then launches into how much a wide-axel verses a 4-door will cost, and gives me a figure of $547.00. There is someone on the phone, which at first I assume is perhaps part of some dream he’s having because that phone’s been off the hook since I walked in. He picks it up off the counter, speaks with that “person”, gives some directions and hangs up.

“For this room?” I ask. He says yes. “For this night?” I clarify. He says yes. “In this Inn?” He says yes. “But the coupon says 35.00.” No, he counters the coupon is for $45.00 (it’s for 35.99 for the record), and he could be right, I didn’t cut the damn thing out - it was handed to me and I just handed it to him.

Then something- I dunno, lucidness perhaps - strikes him. He asks for my name, which I tell him isn’t in the computer because I just drove from Detroit and I didn’t make a reservation. He then askes me to give him everything I have, which I already had - the keys. More lucidness and FINALLY he fully wakes up. He locates my coupon, attached to someone else’s card, and begins apologising, in that sort of “hee, we’ll really laugh about this when I’m sober” kind of way.

He gets me a registration card, which I sign. Doug joins me downstairs in an amazingly good mood - more over-tiredness to make sure I haven’t been mistaken for a bear or something and shot. He gives me two keys for an empty room, runs my credit card and thanks me for my patience - of which I have given more than Coma Boy deserved. I figure anyone else would have demanded a name, a supervisor - something - and ripped him a new one. I could have, but but really it was too bizarre and rather amusing.

As we’re heading to our room, Doug tells me that the occupants of 232, opened the door, closed the door and then came out, but by then Doug had gathered our stuff and was hiding around the corner.

He’s called to make sure our room is fine, which it is, and the internet is nice too. He’s covering his ass to make sure I don’t call his boss and get him fired, which I won’t. Let someone else be a bastard over the holiday weekend.

I’m tired, since I drove from Luna Pier, MI, and since I skipped my evening allergy medicine, I’m breaking out in hives. So attractive. We’re settled now and I’m about to go to bed. There are probably more details, which I’ll update and clean up tomorrow when I’m not so tired.

Welcome to KY, eh?

1 Response to “The Twilight Zone - no - the Days F*cking Inn”


  1. 1 little black duck » Blog Archive » No, I’m serious this time Pingback on Jan 4th, 2012 at 2:34 pm

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Insanity in a nutshell

If you are offended by jokes made about stupid people who end up dead, count to 30 and move on. You being offended is the last thing I care about. Really.
MontiLee Stormer

My name is MontiLee (aka Penda), I am a 35 year-old Writer from Royal Oak, MI.
E-Mail Me!

I are a writer

Novels in Progress:
Isle of Shadows, in collaboration with Rob Callahan
The Cat Dragged Inn
The Caretaker
Never

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