This was a big discussion in many of the circles I run, specifically male privilege and the pass we allow some people because of how things were in The Before Time. I don’t want to open up a whole new can of worms rehashing that all over again, but as a female who attends conventions and cosplays and vends it’s worth repeating: I’m all for socially awkward. I *am* socially awkward. It can be sweet and endearing and I applaud you from coming out of your comfort zone to mix with others of your species. Be yourself and get to know me as a writer while I get to know you as You.
If being Socially Awkward You means standing two inches from my breasts and panting into my cleavage, we will have a problem. That’s not socially awkward, that’s suicide by deathwish. You have cruised into Creeper/Predator Territory with the radio cranked and the top down, and that tells me you know exactly what you are doing. I did not dress as Lana Kane so you could snap pics up my skirt – I will drive my stilettos into your nethers faster than you can scream “Danger Zone”. You don’t get to be a jerk because you’ve never been called out on it before, and please don’t ever mistake my sweet smile and light conversation as acceptance because once Security puts you out, it’s a long walk back to your car. Godspeed, Son.
Oh and claiming an a-typical neuropathy gives you a pass because that’s how you’re wired will not ever truck with me, because if you can claim it you’re using it as an excuse. Period. I’m fortunate – my Creep to Good Time ratio is blessedly low, but when it does happen, it’s unnerving. Even if it happens once, it’s enough to make me want to rethink returning the following year. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not petitioning for “safe” spaces, I just want to jerks on notice. I’m not a violent person (as far as you know) and I want us to all have a good time, but not at the expense of you not thinking things won’t go south is a hurry if you repeatedly cross a line – and once is more than enough.
So as I plan for the 2013 season (and boy, is it looking busy), I am thinking of the friends I get to see again, the friends I have yet to meet, and the Creepy Jerks looking to lose a few teeth. Chuck talks about it here and the conversation that follows is well worth the read.